Currently Reading #2

"A Clash of Kings" by George R.R. Martin - The second book in the Game of Thrones series. I'm really trying to like this series. I feel like so many people watch the TV show that it's almost pointless to summarize. In this particular book, winter is approaching, two great leaders are now dead, six factions struggle for control of a divided land. If you would like to read a full summary, I will link you to Goodreads, here. They are great books, especially if you like fantasy, it just seems to take me forever to get through them.

"War and Peace" By: Leo Tolstoy - This book. This huge, daunting, old, 1200 page book. I really like classics. I think everyone should read classics. This is definitely a step away from "Frankenstein" or "Treasure Island" (although I recommend everyone read those too). This book is BIG & it's not the most exciting read on the planet (at least not so far). I'm reading this book 3-15 pages a day. I'll get through it eventually, maybe in 6 months, maybe in 1 year. Reasons I am reading this book & you should try to read it too: 7 Reasons You Should Give War & Peace A Chance (besides being able to tell people that you've read it).

"Geek Girl" By: Holly Smale - I had mentioned before that I am usually always reading at least one fun, light, "girly" book. This is the one I'm currently digging into. This is a YA novel. Before you go ripping into me for reading books written for a demographic I am no longer included in, YA books are great, I was once a teenager & it's nice to read about the woes & problems of teens that are much more minuscule than my own. Also, if you are a female who claims to not like or read YA, you are definitely lying. This book is about a girl who is considered to be a geek by her peers, she is spotted one day by a top-modeling agent & she seizes this opportunity to re-invent herself. The book follows the disasters that ensue. I just started this book a couple of nights ago, so I can't say if I love it or hate it yet.

"Giant Days" By: John Allison, Whitney Cogar & Lissa Treiman - I haven't included any comic books yet, although I do read quite a few of them. My current favorite series is "Giant Days", I am currently on the third book, which is the image shown above. I am impatiently awaiting the release of the fourth book in February. Susan, Daisy & Esther are three college students with dorm rooms next to each other who become best friends. It's about their personal explorations and re-inventing themselves, in the midst of all the chaos that comes with college life. It's hilarious, the artwork is great & it's one of those comics that I just can't put down & will probably re-read more than once.

- C

What Do You Want To Do With Your Life?

. . . It's such a loaded question. It's a hard question to answer for a lot of people, including myself. 

I am 26 years old & I am barely grasping what I want to do with my life. 

Why do we put so much pressure on the need to know? 
Not only that but once you pass a certain age, you start to be shamed for not knowing.

“The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”
- Walter Bagehot

I was always jealous of my friends & peers who did so well in school not because they tried really hard but because it just came easy to them. They could do well even if they didn't exert any effort. I was always jealous of those kids who knew what they wanted to do & what they wanted to go to college for when we were in high school. I always wish that I could have been so lucky. It's so much pressure on a kid, who barely knows what they want to do tomorrow, let alone for the rest of their life. I've never been a very great student. I don't think it's because I'm not smart, I think it's because I've always lacked the attention span. I always had to work what seemed like five times harder than everyone else in order to pull A's & B's. Other kids made it seem so easy, when for me it wasn't. I never thought that was very fair. Now that I've gotten older & I've thought about it more, I think that classroom learning isn't really adapted to suit everyone's learning styles. Everyone learns a little differently & it would probably be unfair to educator's to make them cater to every learning style - but at the same time it's unfair to students who struggle because of it. I'm sure there are a variety of other reasons that I struggled in school but that's too much to go into here. 

When I first graduated high school, I wanted to go to Cosmetology school. I even went with my grandma to tour a couple of them. I got told by various friends & ex-boyfriends that this was silly, it was stupid, it wasn't a real career, no one wants to date a girl who wants to be a hair stylist, I should go to a "real" college. I'm kind of glad that I didn't end up doing it, I don't think it was my calling - but at the same time, all that discouragement isn't something a 17 year old girl needs to hear. People are assholes. Seriously. Don't try to let other people decide what YOU want to do for you. They aren't going to be doing it, YOU are. So I went to "regular" school. I started at community college, aimed to either be an X-Ray Technician or an Ultrasound Technician but I struggled at first & I dropped out halfway through my first semester. Then when I was 19, I decided to try a regular university, this time I was a biology major, pre-optometry. Being that I'm terrible at math & not dedicated or focused enough to make it through all the science curriculum, after 2 semesters I ended up back at community college. This time I was floating, taking basic courses & electives in an attempt to buy myself some time & decide what I'd like to do. I floated for awhile & finally decided on a business degree. It seemed generic but it could get me a job. After taking a couple of pre-requisite Accounting courses & doing really well I decided Accounting it was. I'm not really sure why I thought this was such a great idea, I'm absolutely awful at math. Now I'm about 9 courses away from achieving my B.S. in Human Resource Management. I have spent 7, going on 8 years trying to get a freaking Bachelor's degree . . . Here I am. Human Resources is something I can excel in, I'm great at paper-pushing, although I know the majority of people can't stand those kinds of jobs. I would still love to do something else, I just haven't really figured out what that is yet, I'm not sure I ever will.

I think the whole point of this blog post is that if you're in a similar situation as me, DO NOT let other people make you feel bad about your journey. Some people get their easily & some people have to do it the hard way. Some people face a ton of curve balls trying to get to where they want to be. I have heard so many jokes about how I've been in school for so long I could be a doctor. It's not OK, people tell me things like that all the time in an attempt to be funny & then I cry later when I'm by myself. I have shed so many tears over feeling like I'm flailing helplessly in a sea of successful peers, about failed classes, poor test grades, about not being where I want to be in life. When you finally feel a passion for something & you are finally handed that piece of paper that says "I DID IT", it will be SO much more worth it for you because you worked so hard to get it. 

Don't let other people bring you down or make you feel like shit. It's your life, not theirs. 

Here are some links to some helpful articles: 

- C